Man City give Newcastle a good kicking, highlight of which was a gorgeous goal from Aguero. Nice free-kick from Toure too, aided by a splendid display of group cowardice by everyone in the wall. Dzeko hilariously unlucky not to score, Kompany out for a year/week.

For Newcastle, "Proper fella" Steven Taylor didn't help the cause by getting himself needlessly sent off in the first half. Pards was seemingly more angry about Arsenal's lack of honour in wanting to buy a player though.

Jamie Carragher squeaked his way through his MNF debut, talked himself in circles, alighted on a couple of decent points and got laughed at by Gary Neville.

Reports from Russia that Spurs have wrapped up the Willian signing. Uh oh.

Scott "Scotty Scott Scott" Parker to join Martin Jol's band of hungry, young tyros