According to that other thread, DiS is split.

Cranky left-wing nutjobs like moker, marckee and myself are concerned about inequality and taxpayer-funded luxury and would happily guillotine the lot of them (I paraphrase).

Cranky right-wing nutjobs like GayGuevara and, erm, Verbal(?) counter that the royals are like bloody catnip for tourists and that their cost to the taxpayer is considerably less than we spend on other useless shit like schools and hospitals.

I've therefore devised a compromise solution guaranteed to make everyone happy: privatisation.

Here's what I've got so far:

1) Sealed bids to be submitted by midnight on 1 August 2013 for the first 10-year lease of the royal family.

2) The winning bidder gets full branding opportunities, access to all royal properties for corporate functions and Prince Philip to tell racist jokes at their Christmas Party.

3) As the winning company's new Global Brand Ambassador, the Queen will do anything Usain Bolt does for Virgin plus a parachute jump at the launch of any new product.

4) Sub-letting the shitter, uglier ones out to smaller companies is absolutely fine.

5) When 10 years is up, all royals must be returned promptly in the same condition they were received in (allowing for natural wastage) as Hyundai, Gazprom, Greggs and the Chinese government are all preparing lucrative packages for Round Two.

I've spoken to Gideon and he's up for giving anything that might bring in some quick cash a go, so please help me develop this business case further. We're blue-sky-ing it over Byron burgers at no. 11 tonight.