Rooney steps up his trolling game by naming his son after the son of a Star Trek villain. Or Something.

Yada yada SAF wins some award.

Yada yada Mourinho finally coming home.

Yada yada Gareth Bale worth £130 a week, or something.

I'll be honest, my heart's not in this, I just desperately wanted to make the pun in the title.