Arsenal retain their Tallest Midgets crown thanks to a goal of the season contender at Newcastle. Tottenham beat Sunderland thanks to yet another spawny toe poke from Bale but miss out on Champion's League despite breaking their record points total and will (justifiably) be wondering what could have been if Sandro hadn't broken and they had a good striker. Some desperate neutrals join Piers Morgan in criticising the Arsenal players for being happy.

Elsewhere in the Prem there was bugger all to play for, but there was a metric shit tonne of goals. Most ridiculous game was obviously the 5-5 at the Hawthorns where Lukaku continues to look like being a Chelsea loanee who actually has a shot of playing for the club one day. Goal of the day goes to Howson's winner at City, mainly for the perfectly executed handoff on a lumbering Micah Richards.

Lots of retirements and last days - Ferg and Scholes at United, Carragher at Liverpool, Harper at Newcastle and Moyes at Everton while Mark Halsey, who's always seemed like a nice chap if a pretty awful ref, hangs up his whistle.

Right, over to you lot for updates on various Scandanavian squad players