You're not going camping, climbing a mountain or taking part in some kind of extreme running event so get a fucking proper bag.

You're wearing a suit, why have you got some functional lump of shit on your back that's got more tassels than a burlesque troupe that you then take off your back and whip people in the face with.

Or, don't take them off, then stand there taking up the room of two people instead of one, whilst looking like Jean Paul from a Tricolore french textbook.

</monday rant>

WHAT'S FUCKED YOU OFF ALREADY?