Okay...

This is what I want

Be able to use facebook without wanting to smash things

Decent email system

Instagram access - yes, I'm one of those cunts who takes pictures
of his dinner, my kid and bottles of craft beer. FUCK YOU.

Battery Life of longer than 4 seconds

I want to pay about £15-20 per month for lots of texts, some phonecalls and minumum 500gb internet rather than my stonking £35 iphone deal that's about to end.

What other smart(ish) phones are out there that won't make me wish I paid the extra money and just got an iphone upgrade?

cheers thanks...