0 sugars - try-hard scrote-sack indie attention-seeker

1 sugar - perfectly fine

1.5 sugars - optimum sugars, but of course if someone else is making you don't confuse shit by getting halves involved

2 sugars - hangovers and sugar crashes

any more than 2 sugars - obvious mental illness

* if using sugarcubes, two rather than one, they're smaller innit.
** half-sugars frowned upon in all other denominations

glad we all agree.