Barca and Bilbao fanboys get their wanksocks out as the officials ensure this year's plaything Dortmund see off impressive Malaga, who were probably the better side overall. Hun conspiracy? Great dramas.

Madrid almost fluff their lines in Turkey as Galatasaray notch three times, only a late goal from the tart puts the tie beyond doubt.

Domestically, Sheff Weds pick up a vital three points at Millwall, GSB earn a point against wobbling league leaders Cardiff. Big wins for McDons, Bradford, Burton and Rotherham.

P-Nev announces he's leaving Everton.

Balotelli banned for calling an official a naughty, and fined for smoking on a train. Japes!

Surprise, surprise, Dave Wigan's a Tory.

Danish prospect Christian Eriksen linked with £14m move to mid-table Liverpool.

Swansea eyeing Romelu Lukaku.

Bob di Matteo says Leeds ain't a big enough club for him.

Arshavin retring, but probably not.

Bundesliga considering moving from a traditional Autumn-Summer season in order to take advantage of the better weather, which of course would make complete sense and should be adopted worldwide. Traditionalists have a bit of a cry without actually providing any sort of logical counter-argument.

Can Juve see off Bayern tonight? Can Zlatan rinse a Messi-less Barca? I'm gonna say no and yes, respectively.