Inspired by monoshono's thread.

So tell me. Mine are thus:

1) Got completely let off for gonig 56mph in a 30 zone

2) When I was about 17, me and me mates were on a golf course, and we'd drunkenly smashed up the club house bit and were sitting on the roof with booze bottles everywhere and planks of the wall scattered everywhere. The police arrived, told us to get off the roof and just let us go home.

MOAR?