Happy New Year, football. 7 fairly unexciting looking oil-soccer matches today, the pick probably being West Ham at home to Norwich as it’s the only one that doesn’t look like it’ll result in a thorough spanking. Expect routine wins for both Manchesters, Spurs and Arsenal and hope for football’s sake that Swansea continue this exciting new trend of pasting Villa.

Elsewhere, there’s a proper, actual, literal six pointer in the Championship in Peterborough v Barnsley, the evil owners’ derby as Blackburn take on (groan) Alex McCleish’s Nottingham Forest and a tasty looking second v third in League One, where Doncaster host Sheffield United.

The transfer window also creaks open today. Spurs have remembered that they still have Carlo Cudicini long enough to flog him to LA Galaxy, Reading have apparently signed Sporting Lisbon’s captain and Demba Ba’s “people” are bracing themselves for a media schedule of Dave Whelan proportions.

AOB business?