Man City look pretty bloody sexy dispatching Newcastle in the early game

Rivers run red with blood, mountains fall and the land is covered in perpetual darkness as QPR finally win a Premier League game. Taarabt absolutely bosses procedings with a lucky first and a boner inducing second.

Norwich continue their good recent run, Sunderland provide Man Utd with the first installment of their annual 6 points.

A Villa team I would politely describe as *limited* pull Liverpool's pants round their ankles and point at their tiny penis. Metaphorically.

In the Championship Cardiff lose to Peterborough, cheating me out of 200 notes. Fucking bellends. Can't wait for their annual choke on the verge of promotion