Welcome to the swimming thread!

Here is a swimming game!

1)Enter pool

2)Locate gym bunny – trying to get a cardio workout before hitting the weights and feeling the BURN

3)Make sure gym bunny is much more toned and ripped than you. Try and locate alpha male, full time affair with himself types

4)Note speed of gym bunny’s swimming and make sure you are quicker

5)Pull up into lane next to him

6)Set off a few metres after gym bunny (race)

7)Beat gym bunny. This may involve going FLAT out and result in feelings of sickness

8)Try to win with as great a margin as possible (so you have time to be sat up in the pool, fiddling with your goggles and generally looking like you are CHILLING OUT)

9)Do not make eye contact with gym bunny, pretend you haven’t even noticed him

10)Set off again at exact same time as gym bunny, beat gym bunny again, repeat step 8

11)Repeat again and again

12)At this point gym bunny will probably stop, try and go out of sync with you and watch you swim at least one length

13)MAKE SURE when he watches you swim, you swim the slowest, lamest length you have ever swam (will lead him to question his own speed)

14)Return to swimming in sync with gym bunny

15)Continue until gym bunny leaves angered and disappointed

16)Go and splash some water in elderly people’s/children’s faces

N.B You must be a pretty good swimmer, or this doesn’t really work

Swimming!