You know who I’m talking about – there’s one at every table in every Asian restaurant in the country. Bet there's plenty knocking about on here.

The heroes who exist to eat dishes with more spice than the person sitting next to them and raise table-wide awareness of their peculiar, almost mythical imperviousness to increased levels of spice in their meal.

“English hot? *sniffs* Nah. Give me INDIAN hot. This is big boy shit”

Tell them that I hate them.