...but don't let the passage of time fool you. this codger was stout of heart and iron of fist.

so...i'm all alone in my pals house as everyone is off at lectures

i try to call mummy but there is no reception....to the garden i go.

i mash buttons and swipe the air.....when...a little old lady pops her head through a hole in the fence

me: er...hello *polite wave*

(at this point i'm excited...we could get a rapport going...it could be our schtick, the head in the hole thing. i consider asking her about rations and max bygraves and less buildings)

her: hello

then suddenly a switch...a man now

me: hello *waves*

him: fucking idiot stupid drunken bloody students

me: umm.

and then he was off....sped away on a hot jet stream of invective air.

i considered giving chase to
a) tell him i didn't live there and so had no part in the hole
b) tell him i too abhore students and their feckless antics
c) tell him i wasn't an idiot, i was a very clever boy, and only seconds before was reading baudrillard on the toilet

but alas none of these came to hand so instead i'm just gonna piss on a war memorial as come back. take that old snap.