so it turns out the Conservatives (HI CG!) are as predictably full of shit as Labour. WHO KNEW? however, they pretty much win when it comes to stupid quotes over the topic. a quote from Stewart Jackson MP, stolen from here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8044998.stm , about why he claimed £300 for upkeep of a swimming pool:

"The pool came with the house and I needed to know how to run it. Once I was shown that one time, there were no more claims. I take care of the pool myself. I believe this represents 'value for money' for the taxpayer."

YES. YES IT REALLY DOES.