Turns out the other guy i'm in cahoots with told them I'm an alcoholic and roped everyone else in. One guy wears skinny jeans and has taped up glasses, the other girl goes on anti-topshop marches. They'd have taken a look at us when we got down there and immediately thought "student pricks".

And we would have been down there THIS FRIDAY. That was the stumbling block. I couldn't think of a reason why I couldn't go, mumbled then just confessed to him our whole diabolical plan. He said I had him going. I apologised about a million times, begged his forgiveness.

Oh well. So ends the final jape I shall ever partake in.