Those of you who are unlucky enough to see me less than two hours after I've left work will be aware that I have a nemesis. She is a badgering hag whose crippling need to interfere with the normal process of things is badly concealed underneath a thin veil of simpering and grossly insincere bonhomie. The merest sight of her makes me want to embark on a course of action destined to end up in newspaper articles featuring the words "...before turning the gun on himself". And her husband is a berk as well.

Now she is in the past tense, I am seizing my opportunity to perform the final exorcism of her presence from my life.

For the past god knows how many years, she has been engaged in one of several pointless legal disputes with an important man and his less well-known wife. Despite many, many judgements against her and an equal number of failed appeals against those judgements, she refuses to let it lie.

I am NOT e-mailling this man several megabytes of confidential information concerning the case that I have definitely NOT stolen from my former-nemesis during the few moments she wasn't hovering over my shoulder like a hunchbacked cloud of midges.

This will definitely NOT bring this entire nasty episode to a close and allow me to move on with my life.

I hope you will all join me in a short prayer for this woman's soul as I DO NOT press 'send'.

And if, by some coincidence, the woman in question or anyone she knows happens upon this post and connects the dots, it is important they understand that I am referring to someone else other than them and that I did not post this thread.

Thank you and Amen.