Just went down to the papershop to but the latest Spurs magazine. Good job they had porn mags for me to hide it in.

I was playing scrabble last night. I found that I had enough letters to spell out 'Tottenham Hostpur Football Club'. Imagine my dismay when it was only worth two points.

The spurs team coach was clocked at 90mph by a speed camera on the way out of Stoke. Apparently even the bus driver is desperate for 3 points.

And my personal favourite:

'Tottenham are going to break the big 4 this season'