I just went to the bog to do a poo, and took residence in a cubicle. Two minutes later a man came into the next cubicle and started pissing standing up and all I could think fo was this bloke pissing 2 feets away from me whilst I was sitting down.

Then his phone started to ring with a ring tone... of Nickleback Rockstar. And he answered it.

"I'm just doing a pish" he says, as his pish thunders into a bowl inches from my face. :(