-there sure are a lot of fat black dudes in Manchester. Like, not properly fat, but wearing their bellies with pride - i think i just found my perfect body image

-why do women like douchebags so much? After spending some time with my dad and his buds, i can safely say that women fucking love douchebags, even though they have nothing to offer except money and a steady flow of conversation - i can offer a steady flow of conversation at least, and maybe a bit of insightfulness as well. these uys aren't even attractive

-i'm pretty incredible at bongos

-i saw 2 different sets of Hollyoaks actors in the same bar: Darren and Gilly with a bunch of meatheads (Gilly looked at me!!!) and Rhyss and that one who tried to kill Max

-i'm pretty terrible with women who aren't spoken for - i need complete non profitness on every converation so i can be myself. Otherwise i just act like a version of myself that i think people will like

-beer - pretty not fruity enough?