"I came to Birmingham and in my first training session we got changed in a tent. Before training we had to go and get rid of the geese. There was goose shit everywhere - and they shit like dogs, by the way. And you can't chase them either, they are vicious bastards.

"As for the training kit, I can remember Ricky Otto trained in a T-shirt that said 'I've been to Benidorm' on the front 'and I've shagged most of it' on the back. I'd like to think that it's improved at the club since then."

Steve Bruce in today's Guardian.

Bye