I just attempted to cut some fine cheese on a plate to accompany my hovis biscuits, but I slipped with the knife, sliced my fingernail off and the biscuits and cheese all landed on the floor. This was just after spilling coffee all over the floor, wiping it up, then spilling it again in EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE.

My typing speed has been reduced to 60 wpm. I'M ANGRY