No, really, bear with me. I was eating an apple which was very nice indeed, however in biting into it, it must have made my gum bleed. Every bite I was taking from it was leaving more blood on the apple, until it looked like I was eating through a cricket ball. Covered in blood. It wasn't very nice, and I felt a little self-conscious.

So, um, ever ingested your own blood on a fruit?

Don't worry, I'm not in all day, I'll be gone by lunchtime