As a young lad, my father apprenticed me to a honey factory in Belize. The chief beekeeper was this horrible hag of a woman with gnarled teeth and a giant wart that she called a nose. Oh, she was not attractive, even by backwards standards. But love is truly blind, and as the days passed, working so closely together – with the sweet smell of honey in the air – I knew I had to have this horrible creature.

And I did.

Let that be a lesson to all of you.