http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_headline=off-the-record-&method=full&objectid=18169270&siteid=66633-name_page.html

POOR George Galloway. He's been complaining over the codename Northumbria Police chose to assign to their operation to provide him with security during a visit to Sunderland last week. They called it Operation Kaolin - which is a treatment used to control, er, stomach disorders.

"I am shocked and angry," fumed George, though police insist operational names are selected "randomly" and that "they reflect nothing upon the actual operation".

We have every sympathy, George. Still, you can rest assured that plans to look after you on your next visit to these parts are well in hand. We know, because we checked with the head of Operation Germoloids.