I remember a few years ago before I decided to go back to uni, I used to work with this woman who was basically universally acknowledged to be completely insane. She was in a position of some responsibility, and would occasionally ask me to do something that made no sense - ignite the mainsail, cough up a lengthways breakdown of the avuncular mark-up on wing clasps, etc. If you nodded and smiled she would go about her business and then thank you warmly a few hours later even if you hadn't done anything.

It seems I've recently encountered another. The problem is, this woman is supposed to be teaching me how to do certain parts of my new job. She exhibits the following symptoms:

1. Never completing a sentence when speaking to me.
2. Speaking in a vague tone and continually mumbling to herself, such that I am never able to discern whether she's talking to me or to herself.
3. Being unable to find any file on a computer unless the folder view is set to the most confusing one; 'Icons'.
4. Asking me continually for things I've never seen or heard of and directing me towards non-existant files.
5. Having several cupboards full of files of jumbled nonsense. Seriously, I just opened a file marked 'confidential' which contained a few aggressive looking charcoal sketches of what looks like a sewer system and a sheaf of blank paper covered in spit.

OK so I made the last bit up, but what do I do? Ignore it and sit around doing nothing? Tell somebody in a position of authority? Call the local mental health services?