(CRABNEWS; LONDON)
15th October 2006

Having recently been in the news with the 'fake news' scandal that swept the internet for 23 minutes earlier this day, Drowned in Sound Editor Colin Roberts has re-emerged, angry and filled with masculine rage.

"Everyone is hitting on my sister via PMs," he was quoted as telling a text entry box on the social board earlier today whilst listening to the new Long Blondes album.

"This album is great and I believe it to be the guitar pop album of the year, but if anyone fucks with my sister, they'll get a guitar popped over their head and won't see the end of the year."

Catherine of Aragon was unavailable for comment, presumed in labour.