Who here has stolen something in the past? Perhaps you still steal? I remember stealing sweets from Woolworths when I was about 11. But that was to impress a girl. Molly Lamb, her name was. She was amazing. Ferrari chassis, and legs up to her arse. Then she got pregnant at 14 and had to leave school. Oh well

Can shoplifting be classed as some kind of rites of passage thing? I know it's pretty scummy, but surely a fair amount of kids do it at some point - even when they're old enough to know better

Who has stolen something recently and is willing to give themselves up to the DiS police?

(we made need some volunteers for the aforementioned DiS police)