TOP SHOP TOPPPPP SHOPPPPP!! Whilst in there the other day (yes yes I should have been on Top 'MAN' but was with my 'life partner' who was browsing in that way that men don't when shopping (God I am just like Richard Littlejohn aren't I?), and as is my wont when in such places, I spent most of the time staring lazily at the latest videos being streamed from all the countless (I counted at least 234) tv screens 'dotted' around the stores.

Whilst tapping one's toes to all the latest 'discs' and their promotion films I suddenly realised that most of the people in each video seemed to be in the same attire being sold in top man and top shop. It was at this point that I began to get scared that the only way I would even make it onto the (not so silver) screen would be by taking my custom from H&M and bringing it across to Top Shop - could this be the most trivial discourse that you will ever read?