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Wicker man: the remake
I went and saw this last night.
I havnt laughed so much in ages. It is a terrible film
Badly shot, bad script, bad acting, some bits were just weird, but despite apparently being 100% serious, it has some of the best comedy moments of any film EVER.
My highlights were:
Nicholas cage diving akwardly into the water.
Nicholas cage's really dodgy acting.
The "dream in a dream" bit where nicholas cage thinks he saw the dead girl, then wakes up. The shot is just of his face. Then it pans out to his body quickly and hes holding the dead girl in his arms. After realising this he acts really shocked, then wakes up again, but its cut so badly and is hilarious.
Nicholas cage "get off the bike"
Woman on bike "..."
Nicholas cage(increasingly angry) "get off the bike !"
woman on bike "..."
Nicholas cage pulls out gun, points it at her and shouts
"STEP AWAY, FROM THE BIKE !"
Nicholas cage finds a burned doll in the place where he is supposed to find the dead girl.
He asks a woman how it got burned, like this:
"HOW'D IT GET BURNED ?! HOW'D IT GET BURNED ?! HOW'S IT GET BURNED ?! HOW"D IT GET BURNED ?!"
The thing is, he doesnt say it as if he is hysterical or anything, he says it as if each time the woman is about to tell him how it got burned, he interupts her. Its really one of the funniest things ever.
Near the end, the director decided to make nicholas cage beat the shit out of two women for no particular reason.
Nicholas cage walks down steps.
suspicious woman "good morning inspector"
There is silence for a bit and the shot alternates between each of their faces...
Nicholas cage then punches her in the face, then karate kicks her in the face... into a wall. The most hilarious fight scene ever.
Then at the end he gets captured by them. The group closes in on him then it fades to black. Then it cuts to them carrying him in a sack to the wicker man. Unfortuneltly, they decided to put what was supposed to have happened in the faded bit, just audio over the top of the picture of him being carried.
For example, you hear him screaming "No get away from me !" but you just see him being carried.
The best part is when he screams "OH MY GOD, MY LEGS ! MY LEGS !", then there is the sound of bone snapping.
Then the last shot of him screaming "BITCHES !" from the top of the wicker man.
I havnt laughed so much at a film in a long time. Its really worth going to see, despite it being terrible.