right, being a lady, I'm not too up on the attractions of porn. But from what I've seen, porn isn't very much like real sex, is it?

Is there porn, or would you like there to be porn, with socks left on, untidy bedrooms, giggling, falling off beds, drunkenness, unwanted interruptions, being quiet so your neighbours don't hear, that kind of thing? Or would that not do it for you?

Of course, all my sexual interactions take place on a sheepskin rug in front of a fire in designer silk underwear with a well-endowned Scandinavian. Just wondering, like...