Quite possibly one of the longest ads you’ll see maybe; this’d cost a fucking fortune in print:

Can’t say too much about ourselves right now - we’re playing with someone at the mo, and can’t quite let the cat out of the bag yet to the world that we’re off. We’re both in our 20’s, (22 and 26), experienced, small-time records out, extensive live & studio experience. We’re not in this to piss around basically and can pick stuff up faster than a crackhead in an unlocked chemist. Will be free as birds come June, July, but for the right people we might be able to squeeze in some sessions sooner.

We're looking for a hideously good-looking singer/guitarist and/or singer/bassist (either really) to put together fast, melodic garagepunkrock 3 or 4 piece. If you are female too this would be mega, as birds in bands are frankly better. Actually, females get first refusal. Blatant sexual discrimination I know, but fuck it.

We’re into allsorts of stuff but have a very similar mindset. At the mo we’re listening to allsorts but particularly The Bronx, Fucked Up, Dananananaykroyd etc, that kind of stuff. And the rest. Ideally, we are looking to start up with people who’ve got tunes ready to go. We have some, but not loads. We are very, very good but also very, very picky, sorry. If you have myspaces/demos of tunes and the like of your stuff, then you get first consideration. Absolutely no metal by the way, thankyou very much.

Apologies if this comes over as being a bit cocky - we’re very nice boys, honest – but we are just trying to avoid the usual deluge of inexperienced 17-year old kids with no tunes and just an acoustic guitar to their name. You’ll get there one day son, but you’re not for us. However if you’re ready to take on the world but can only find shit drummers and bassists, then we might be for you. Alternatively if the drummer and bassist you already have are shit, get rid of them, and get us in instead. Easy.

Oh and finally, we come as a duo, or not at all. Unless you're offering money.

Please PM me with any details/links etc. Looking forward to hearing from you.