I'll be honest. I wanted to go. When I got Dick's invitation in the mail, I wanted to kill and maim small birds with the Vice President. "Why not?" I said to myself. But Nicolle would have none of it. Hell, I gotta take the spiders which frighten her to death, rain or shine, outside instead of just stomping on them and giving them a tidy bowl burial at sea. Kill little birds for sport? "Nah uh, no way buster!"

OK, so maybe we can't trust him with a shot gun, but I'm sure we're still OK with Dick's finger on the button of our nuclear arsenal. He says he's better with the really big weapons. "I drive better when I've had a few drinks, too." Of course you do, Dick.

Top 5 Songs To Go Hunting With Dick Cheney!

Me:
Dead Kennedy's - Kill The Poor
Iggy & the Stooges - Search and Destroy
Nirvana - Come As You Are
Curve - Wish You Dead
Simpleminds - Hunter and the Hunted