Hard work and good fortune made you a household name for about three months in 2009. Now few people can even remember how your most popular song went. Your career is pretty much over now, but people will continue to recognise you on a fortnightly basis until the aging process eventually makes you near-unrecognisable.

One day, maybe your kids will find a cardboard box full of your pop star gubbins in the garage, and you'll have to explain your past to them like Homer Simpson with his Barbershop Quartet. They'll ask you why you're not famous anymore, and you'll have to tell them that, before the war, the music industry was built on hype and speculation rather than musical merit, and that careers were built and destroyed in a matter of weeks.