For some reason recently I've started writing my own raps over instrumental beats, some that I've made myself and some that I've found on the internetz. I kind of realise its excruciatingly lame, but does anyone else do this? I can't actually rap for shit, but generally find it can be a rather calming way to focus my energies when particularly bored. Plus occasionally it is fun to just to let your mind flow and see what utter utter bullshit actually comes out.

So, heres a thread where people can share anything they've written that they're not particularly proud of, with no judgement and we can all have a jolly old laugh about how shit we all are. Or at least share some kind of brief anecdote. Or whatever.

So heres some complete shite I wrote the other day over an instrumental for The Recipie by Kendrick Lamarr & Dr Dre.

Hello, sorry about this, its fine
Nobody's arse is on the line
I'm cool just sitting here by myself
You don't have to join me but it might help
I'm not suicidal
I'm just too fucking idle
Don't tell your friends or i'll sue you for libel
Theres nothing to me, I'm undiscovered
Spliff in one hand, fag in the other
But not the gay kind
Not that I'm homophobic or anything
Like pilates and aerobics, not my thing
I don't get any luck when it comes to sex
My package is still in the hands of fed-ex
Packed tightly in with bubble wrap
Smells like shit and tastes like crap
So come sit down and watch some shit TV
Unless you can't be arsed to hang with me
But thats cool

This is my first rap without a star wars reference
I'd put one in but it won't make a difference
This is Tarantino without the violence
Everyone pause for the awkward silence
The thought of getting dressed makes me shudder
You can go home to your significant other
Go lie in your bed and canoodle
While I put on some super noodles
Fast and hot like a vampire slayer
This is the life, i don't wanna be a player
I'm just like spike when he got his soul back
Living in the basement, anxiety attack
What?
So maybe thats not strictly true
I rarely ever leave my living room
I have no hobbies for a start
Just playing my broken guitar

Hey, I think I've already claimed title for worst thread of 2013, right?