So you're at a gig or a festival, and a band who you've never heard of takes to the stage.

Certain things tell you that the band is going to be shit. What are they?

- Any member having dreadlocks
- A bald front man
- People wearing unnecessary hats
- One of those 'axe-shaped' black guitars
- Members wearing t-shirts of really obvious bands like the Beatles or the Doors "Yeahhh everyone will know that I love great music and they'll respect me woo."
- Having a saxophonist (unless you're Bruce Springsteen or a Bruce Springsteen tribute band)