DiSers are too cool for this, right? I went to the Brighton edition last night because I wanted to see Crystal Castles again (went to the Roundhouse show last year but was stuck at the back all night). Was pretty weird.

I’d forgotten that the audience for these shows (at least in Brighton) is made up of either 17 year-olds or 45 year-olds. I’m in the middle of that and was pretty conspicuous.

The Vaccines were playing when I arrived. I guess they’re pretty young but they sounded like the reanimated corpses of the Libertines. Pete Doherty must have been spinning in his grave. It was horrible.

Everything Everything were next and made some dig at Magnetic Man which implied they didn’t like being second on. They sound a bit like Alvin & the Chipmunks covering the Futureheads, which is not the worst thing in the world I guess, but it was all very smug and one-paced until the last track which was actually great and much better than everything else they’d done. No idea what it was. Bonus points for wearing matching boiler suits, but instantly lost again for making them grey. Grey?! Says it all really.

Magnetic Man produced a pretty lively show. The kids loved it and there was all kinds of terrible dancing breaking out. Can’t help but think there’s something quite artificial about a live performance featuring three guys stuck behind matching grey (grey?!) Macs. For all we know they could be playing straight from iTunes. Their hype man was pretty effective and entertaining – by the end though he was just repeating random words from the star vocalists coming out the laptops. Which gave the impression of watching your Nan trying to do karaoke.

Crystal Castles probably weren’t worth the effort or the cash in the end - £16.94(??) for my ticket. Alice Glass has broken her foot and was propped on a crutch the whole way through swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels like the cliché she is. Don’t think her mic was on for the first half of the show, although was just about close enough to hear her anyway. She fell over at one point and just sprawled around on the floor a bit which was much funnier than it should have been. I’d headed down the front at the start and felt very old surrounded by acne and Bieber haircuts. At least until a few dozen grey and\or balding punks barged their way through and started moshing. I spent most of my time picking pilled-up girls off the floor before they got trampled on and there were two casualties being taken out to ambulances at the end. Still, Crystal Castles brought along some new merch, which was nice.

Overall verdict: like being trapped in an episode of Skins for four hours, but one where all the Mums and Dads of the cast are waiting outside at the end with their coats because it’s a bit chilly out and won’t it be nice when spring finally arrives...