Just for kicks, I decided to try and write a song. Obviously I've come up with little riffs every now and again for years. Nothing great.

I'm an alright guitar player, mostly just play along with CD's, etc, but I thought what the hell, try and write your masterpiece.

Anyway, after about five hours, I came up with a nice little chord scheme which, while trite, I thought was serviceable for someone who'd never actively tried to write a complete beginning-middle-and-end tune before. D, F, A, C, G, then to B just for a sexy little thrill.

Then came the melody. I can't write lyrics for shit, so I believe I was singing something like:

"I've got me a dog...burrr...burrrble...diamond rings and jewelery...mmrrrrmmrrr..."

Now, I wanted to do a McCartney style melody, where your tune rises and falls independent of the chords (conveniently forgetting that I'm not Paul McCartney, therefore not an intermittent musical genius, therefore not capable of writing a melody like that). After a while, I came up with a rough approximation of the melody to 'Columbia'. Yikes.

I've tried playing a guitar solo over the chords, whistling, humming, etc, but nothing works out. So I've taken up this hugely unnecessary amount of space to ask any musos on here how they 'get' a melody, if they have any tips, or if I'm pissing up the wrong rope. Thank ye.