The advert describes his new single as "the first great single of 2009".

This is not an opinion any real person can possibly hold. It's actually literally, utterly and totally beyond the realms of possibility that anybody, even if they had an utter absence of a taste in music, could plausibly this wet rip-off of not especially good early 90s indie dance records as "the first great single of 2009".

So is Jack Penate fucking somebody high-up at the NME?