Fuck fashion. Fuck being cool. I'd like to raise a glass of lukewarm own-brand supermarket diet cola to the man who has single-handedly resurrected the classic rock moon/spoon/June school of rhyming.

With a merry song in our hearts that sounds a bit like Maroon 5 with their legs freshly removed, I propose we create the ULTIMATE JAMES BLUNT LYRIC. Extra points for making up words to rhyme with "orange".*

*Incidentally, for the benefit of any passing Australians, "porridge" doesn't count.