What-ho...just a brief missive to let you chaps know that two of my brave foot soldiers will be featuring in tonight's Trauma, BBC1, 8pm. Grenadier Daniel Roland McKennan (Dr/Vx)("A pale young lad" - Radio Times) has a bloody big tube shoved in his side while W/Commander Tommy Mack (Vx/Gtr) mumbles inarticulately about the fragility of life...there's an uncut version full of gore and swearing on BBC3, for you toffs with digital.

Which is impeccable timing considering that the elit fighting forced who bear my name will be demolishing the Dublin Castle's fortress-like keep this SATURDAY 10TH APRIL. Consider yourself consripted!

The General