HO HO HO.

MERRY XMAS!

Apparently, we're in a Credit Crunch right now. There is a shop in Glasgow selling budget Xmas goods called “The Christmas Crunch”. It's true. I saw it.
No doubt you will be sweating nervously as you try and work out what to purchase that friend or loved one this Yuletide. I expect you will be feverishly delving down the back of sofa cushions and in the pockets of long-discarded jackets for that extra 50p. I hear you brothers and sisters, I hear you. These are tough times.

Well: WORRY THE FUCK NOT!

That's right. I'm here to give you the perfect Xmas present for just about anyone. Even yourself.

You've got it:

A SHITLOAD OF GIG POSTERS!

Yay! Here are some of them (click it!):

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3238/3045778726_affd416eb3_b.jpg

I've designed over 200 posters for shows over the last 7 or so years and most of them are available to buy from me. These aren't bullshitty limited-edition-fifty-quid-a-pop-screen-printed-but-yet-never-used-to-actually-promote-a-gig-Americanised-merch-nonsense.
These are posters made first and foremost to promote the shows in question, they were printed up at the time and plastered over venue walls, pub toilets and other exciting places. I even put one on a guy's back once and let him walk round Nottingham with it for a day before he noticed. That's another story though.

I started re-printing these in small numbers a few years back. They're all a little larger than A3 in size (somewhere around 310mm wide by 430 mm high give our take a few mmmmmms) and they fit very pleasingly into a standard clip frame from Wilkos. They're litho-printed using a machine that cost a million pounds. This isn't a joke, it really cost a million pounds. Needless to say, I don't own it. It lays the colours down as pure tones meaning these look absolutely perfect, bright, vibrant and flawless. They're also printed on various types on heavy paper stock, usually Splendorgel (if you're in the business). That means very thick, matt-textured paper if you're not. They look and feel (and smell) tremendous.

As the largest mid-digit to the boutique poster industry that I can muster, I try and sell these at the lowest price I can do without losing tons of money so that means they are:

£5 EACH or ANY 3 FOR £12

Plus postage to your part of the planet which is: £2.50 in the UK and £3.50 elsewhere.

I accept the wonderful rip-off Paypal (though ask that we split the fees they impose if that's cool), cheque or glorious cash.

Bear in mind I have limited numbers of some of these so if you want to send a cheque or cash then bear in mind it has to be first come first served so please list alternatives. I guess that's the benefit of paying instantly with Paypal. I knew there had to be one benefit...

I post them in a compact, sturdy tube and I always throw in some freebies too. I have thousands of posters in a box that have been left over from shows, they might be a bit crumpled or have some marks but they're free – perfect for decorating that mouldy bathroom!

Here's a quick and by no means comprehensive list of some of the bands I have designed posters for:

ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE ADRIAN CROWLEYAKRON / FAMILY ALASDAIR ROBERTS ARAB STRAP ARCWELDER FLOUR BRICK LAYER CAKE PW LONG AWESOME COLOR TWISTED NERVE DJ SCOTCH EGG ROLO TOMASSI BARDO POND BIC RUNGA BILGE PUMP BILLY MAHONIE BIRCHVILLE CAT MOTEL BIRD BLOBS BLACK DICE BOHREN UND DER CLUB OF GORE BONNIE PRINCE BILLY BORIS MANATEES BROKEN FAMILY BAND CARLA BOZULICH CHARALAMBIDES CHARLOTTEFIELD CHIN UP CHIN UP CHRIS BROKAW CHRIS LEO (LAPSE/VAN PELT) COMETS ON FIRE COUGHS CRYPTACIZE CURTAINS CURTIS ELLER DANIEL HIGGS DAVID THOMAS BROUGHTON DEAD MEADOW CASS MCCOMBS DEERHOOF DOCKTOR COCACOLA MCDONALDS DUSTY RHODES & THE RIVER BAND DURACELL ECONOLINE ELEPHANT MICAH ENABLERS ENON ERASE ERRATA THE EVENS EX MODELS LOVVERS FLOWER AND CORSANO FOG FUCK BUTTONS FUGAZI GANG GANG DANCE GET HUSTLE GREG HAINES GROUPER GROWING HAWK & A HACKSAW HELLA HERMAN DUNE HOSPITALS HOT SNAKES HOWLIN' RAIN MAGIK MARKERS PAPIER TIGRE I'M BEING GOOD JACK ROSE JACKIE O MOTHERFUCKER JAMIE T JOAN AS POLICEWOMAN JOAN OF ARC LICHENS LIGHTNING BOLT THE LOCUST LORDS LOVE AS LAUGHTER LOW MATES OF STATE MEDICATIONS MELT BANANA MONOTONIX MUDHONEY MV & EE MEDICINE SHOW THE NEW YEAR THE NEW YORK FUND NUMBERS ONEIDA OWLS PAPER CHASE PARADISE ISLAND PART CHIMP PELICAN THESE ARMS ARE SNAKES PISSED JEANS PIT ER PAT QUI THE RESEARCH WE ARE THE PHYSICS SCORCES SCOUT NIBLETT SIC ALPS SINCABEZA SOUVARIS SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE SODASTREAM SOEZA SON VOLT STANLEY BRINKS SUNBURNED HAND OF THE MAN TALIBAM! TED LEO THALIA ZEDEK THANKSGIVING TIMES NEW VIKING TODD TRANS AM TRUMANS WATER UNIT AMA USA IS A MONSTER VIALKA WEIRD WAR WILCO WILLIAM E WHITMORE WIVES

As well as limited prints of illustration work for magazines like PLAN B

All of them can be seen in this Flickr gallery here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sumlin/sets/72157594212951999/

Each individual poster page tells you if the poster in question is in stock or not.

I will be re-printing for people next Thursday or Friday (November 26th-ish) so I am happy to take orders (with payment) for things that are out of stock at present up to that date.
Same goes if you want something on a custom size or any other special requirements.

I used to sell these at the ATP Festival each year but alas, that's not an option anymore so mail order is the new way to go for me. Here are some memories though (click them):

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2128/2109852520_a19c7d4ae1.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2050/2109077543_44d3fd93c7.jpg

Happy times.

Any questions, or to order, email me at:

honeyisfunnyATfastmailDOTfm

(replace the AT with @ and the DOT with a dot!)

That's got to be it. Thanks for reading!

chris/The Speeding Train