'Call On Me' (we won't, thanks) shifted a lousy 23,519 copies last week, the smallest number needed to clinch number one since records began in 1969. To put things into perspective somewhat, Elton John's pisspoor tribute to the late Princess of Wales (you know she's pissing herself at all the grannies falling over in her fountain) sold a whopping 3.4 million in a week. Okay, so that's the highest-ever selling single, but it still illustrates a point.
In other chart news, both Morrissey and Sir Cliff Richard limped zimmer-style into the top ten at eight and nine respectively. You go, you crazy old guys!