I've only met the bride and groom once. And that was for the briefest of introductions whilst I was 'watching' Buster Bloodvessel 'sing' last Sunday night at the Pink Toothbrush

So... this is pretty much the perfect opportunity for me to act like a twat and get away with it. I'm fairly confident the alcohol is free, and I'm being put up in a room for the night free of charge too

Who shall I molest? The bridesmaid? (I do actually know her, and it's relatively feasible). The groom's mother?

Any suggestions as to how I can make this night even more fun are very much welcome