it's 'Pirate Day'
some fucking drama school dildo dressed up as Jack Sparrow
trying to shake me and my girlfriends hands and give us 'pirate names'

i was 'jamie the shy poet' (wtf?)
and he said my girlfriend was 'hannah the hairy'

WHAT THE FUCK
she was not impressed. he asked us if we'd seen the new film yet, as he was 'in it and very good!'

my girlfriend said 'is it as utterly shit as the last one, because that was horrendous'

and he walked off.
i'm scarred.