Piano Magic
Son de Mar

Instrumental. Long-winded. Consisting of six untitled sections. Oh shit, this isn't going to be easy, is it ?

Apparently Spain's best and 2nd most famous film director Bigas Luna heard Piano Magic in a record shop in Barcelona and instantly knew who he wanted to score his next film. He even decided that Piano Magic had already been doing soundtracks to films. But not real ones, ones that existed only at the back of the listener's mind and that it was his responsibility to give them a real film to work with.

Needless to say the album is utter tedium. Quite who the record label thinks will be rushing out to buy this slab of insipid turd, God only knows. The translation of the title from Spanish is 'Sound of the Sea' and in honour of the film's name huge portions of the album are devoted to little more than the sound of the sea. The only positive things that can be said about this are that the opening track is rather lovely in a Sigur Ros type of way and that reading the press release you can piss yourself laughing at the titles of Luna's other films ('The Tit and the Moon' and 'Golden Balls' are particularly good).

Perhaps it is impossible for anyone to pass judgement on a film soundtrack without it being placed hand in hand with the film. But if that's the case then why bother releasing background music in the first place ? You wouldn't listen to an instrumental Leonard Cohen and who would bother paying attention to Atari Teenage Riot if they didn't have the angry man in leather pants ?

No-one would, so why should anyone bother with this when it's been severed from its artistic heart and soul and is, consequently, a heap of donkey shite ? No-one !

So, let's ban film soundtracks. They take up shelfspace at your local records shop and nurture the artist's self-indulgent tendencies. They are evil and must be stopped. We shall storm the city streets at dawn and tear down the records shops until the bastards meet our one demand: STOP WASTING OUR FUCKING TIME !!!