- Artists:
- The Enemy »
- Label:
- Cooking Vinyl »
The un-music.The abyss staring back.
Fifteen minutes into the third album from The Enemy and already I'm feeling dangerous. I feel sulphuric. I am a creature. I am a planet killer. My nice Italian flatmate is singing in the next room and all I want to do is hurt him. If I strangle him, say, I will probably cry throughout. SOS, Mayday, Tom Clarke is screaming but no one is listening. I wave from the shore. I feel as though I've been left alone with you, Clarkey. This is a low point in British guitar music. For pity's sake, deliver us from evil.
So blank, so generic, it's borderline abstract. A dreamy alienation afflicts you on first listen. It is end times for this type of music. 'Ladrock'. Exhausted in its first seconds of recycled existence and exhausted ten generations on.
When did the term 'working class music' become a front for taking art out of the equation? Joy Division, The Specials, the Manics, The Fall, The Human League, Minutemen... this is a betrayal of their legacy, the enemy of imagination, of D-Boon's dedication to art as “a way to learn about the beauty of the world,” perpetuating the myth that the working classes have no right to have culture in their lives. Or worse... no inclination, or worse - no capacity for it. When did “We're just normal lads, us” ever had anything to do with it? When did unconstructed mundanity equate to honesty; 'the truth'? Oasis, Weller, Stereophonics, you created a hell on earth. You patronize your target demographic. Shame on you.
So linear. So staggeringly unmusical. So preternaturally inexpressive in its rigidness. One eternal note of impotent strain. One kind of beat. One kind of guitar sound. A reoccurring nightmare. Its gummy jaws close tenderly and you think of nothing.
Tom Clarke changes his songs half way through, invariably two different times. Air escapes from every crevice. The ugly things creak with the stress of slow redirection. Throughout idling verses he will alternate his vocal melody in miserable synchronisation with his guitar, as it slops back and forth between two chords of grunting downstroke. UP....and down, it goes. UP................and down. A death march. The song, sputtering in the panic of what to do next, will grab for a snare roll filler. The fill will extend out in concealment of a multitude of structural sins, until the bastard chorus saunters in like a perpetually late bricky, with all the energy of a sick cat. Oh, the unforgettable fire of it all. Let's go out, right now, and like spray-paint something.
If you're going to be basic, then you better make damn sure you're at least immediate, or cutting, or raw. If you're on your third album of devolved, semi-dysfunctional froth, then may you very well become The Dragon; the god of avenging hell fire; the dumb ephemeral rage of young passion.
So how come Streets In The Sky is a pea-headed pom-pom of a pub-rocker - a tiny thimble of an album, a talc-y titmouse; a talc-y titmouse of tittering tepidness. Quite where The Bronx's Joby Ford fits in as the producer is uncertain at this point.
But it gets really fucked up with The Enemy's attempts at aspirational anthems. Without any exaggeration some of the worst songwriting in major label history. 'S.O.S' sports the world's most pathetically uninspired guitar solo, while 'Come Into My World' is an abomination of cadence - lyrically and musically - featuring another all-time nadir for a musical institution; this time the middle eight. And next to 'Saturday', Hard Fi's 'Living For Weekend' is an avant titan of free-jazz; an allegory for British Marxism; a life-changing opus of unrepeatable genius. It beggars belief that people find this inspiring, or that they find wisdom in Clarke's lyrics. He's barely sentient. You must have to be very, very young. Maybe 11. Throughout the tragicomic goldmine that is their track-by-track podcast - with your host, Tom - without a hint of irony Clarke atones for their previous record's 'seriousness' as such: “we were forced into that overtly political place by people ignoring the social commentary on the first record.” Fucking really, Chuck Dee? It goes on: “What we do...is social observation” he muses, before describing anti-rich bumbler 'Bigger Cages (Longer Chains)' as a song about “People who think they're amazing.” He speaks of Chinese communism and the existence of God, and his publicist wonders aloud if you can still feel pain while unconscious from a drug overdose. Sometimes a squirrel-y band member will interject, but Tom isn't so sure: “I guarantee you don't know who that song's about.” A leader of men, the people's spokesman, he's rapping and be-bopping by this point, playing some jazz. 'This Is Real' is “self explanatory,” which, where he lives - in the reservation for undercooked finks - is troglodyte for 'moronically obvious'. And then the big finish, wherein Clarke accounts for the 'artistic decision' to end the album on a drum fill; denoting “unresolved”. It's more reflective of life, you see. because life has no answers.
Tom: “And.......[pauses to savour the sheer genius] I just pressed stop.”
Squirrel Guy: “It kind of does your head in.”
Five or so years ago The Enemy did a song called 'Happy Birthday Jane'. It was tender and poignant and most of all it was sad, like the way birthdays can be, and because regret is a big thing on those days. Especially when you're trapped in the cycle of poverty, as is the song's intimation. Take that as your one victory Tom, and please, for the sake of future generations, go away.
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I normally hate reviews which just relish putting the boot in
But I really enjoyed this as a deliciously mean-spirited piece of polemic :)
Ha ha!
Great review. Is Tom Clarke hard, or does he just pretend to be? If the latter, you might want to try and avoid him.
Now I want to listen to the record to see if it is as bad as all that.
Bravo, sir
Music for people who have a blue WKD where their heart should be.
It is end times for this type of music. 'Ladrock'.
you mean rock music.... hardly.
this IS awful though
Incredibly,
I actually think the reviewer was struggling to give them the benefit of the doubt.. in the 'Now then Tom, I don't care whose fault it is, but I'm going to close my eyes and turn my back, and when I open them there better be a proper song on the table or I'll be cross' school of thought..
it's not journalism
labels pay press officers to engage writers to produce critical appraisals of their musical products. it just happens in this case the product was biz and so the criticism was negative. i think the writer did a good job to create something that was fun to read and so made a terrible record into a good half a page of text.
This was a good read.
I have no idea why the fuck I am listening to this now though. It's like watching two fat police officers fuck in a chip shop. I just can't stop watching.
what specificially do you mean by that?
as a rule music journalism these days is infinitely less scathing and 'indulgent' than the heyday of the music weeklies (sort of mid '70s to early '90s) when outrageous snarking was the norm.
The implied suggestion that a reviewer owes the subject some sort of personality free, job interview-style feedback assessement is pretty depressing; equally I don't think the fact your curiousity has been piqued by the vehemence of the panning means that the review has somehow failed...
I think another point that needs to be repeated...
is that in a world where an award of zero marks out of ten exists, this record is absolutely deserving of it - for reasons that are perfectly well communicates in the body of the review.
And I don't really understand when this mark is given it correlates to a badly-done review. Hardly a two-word 'Shit-Sandwich' critique is it? Though this record is almost certainly deserving of one.
I know
in some ways it's a great loss to music journalism that Spinal Tap had that idea before anyone could actually do it in real life...
mind you
I disagree that Weller has ever patronized his target demographic....just a minor point
:D..."the unforgettable fire of it all..."
I remember the scathing reviews THAT U2 album got upon release....very tongue-in-cheek inclusion here :)
Although it got 6/10 in the NME
curiously by an ex DiS staff writer....
0 out of 10 is harsh BUT...
...this record really is an embarrassment. No lightness of touch and kack handed lyrics which make me cringe.
Its just Landfill Indie isnt it?
I mean its got its own cliched codes, sounds and conventions now in the same way something like Saxon would have. Im sure its dreadful, but isnt every Uk band on a major these days?
It probably is a shit album, but absolutely terrible review.
I can't help but think that most of this review was written before the album was even listened to. No doubt the reviewer read this one http://thequietus.com/articles/08813-the-enemy-streets-in-the-sky-review first and tried to 'out do' it.
there were "shit sandwich" prototypes in the 70s
iirc the NME ran a review of a Yes album that just said "No"
I haven't picked up a copy of NME....
....since they gave 'Picaresque' by The Decemberists a 4/10 review.
Funnily enough
The person who wrote that Decemberists review is the editor of the site you just linked to.
Good. Found him.
I've always wanted to speak to him about that!
P.S......
I don't use that site, I got the link from a thread on these boards.
..
Awful review. I don't like the band at all- but this smug, self satisfied, pretentious nonsense is why very few people bother to read music jounalism anymore.
If you're going to slag something off- at least do it in a way that suggests your review isn't a preening exercise in 'look how clever I am' sixth form psuedo-interlectualism.
Dross. As knackered and stuck in a cliched one dimensional rut as the album he attempts to 'review'.
I don't really think reviews written in this fashion have anything to do with the decline of music journalism as a practise
especially considering they were much more common in previous decades, when music publications were far more widely read
I think as a rule
anybody who calls a review they didn't like a 'review' is in danger of calling the kettle black when it comes to cliche.
Fucking Brilliant
See subject bar
great review
remember NME describing the singer as looking like 'a newt whose just won a pair of hair-straighteners'
BEST REVIEW EVER.
BEST REVIEW EVER.
Shouldnt this review
Apply to a large chunk of bands on here anyway. The Enemy are not the only one



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