Ladies and gentlemen, Kermit the Frog has fallen on hard times. Ousted from his seemingly secure spot as Muppet compére and figurehead by the dreadlocked Clifford, he’s been reduced to croaking melancholy half-formed pop songs on street corners. Begging for change in between taking swigs of meths from a bottle poorly concealed within a brown paper bag; scaring small children (who frankly deserve it, the fuckers. Send ‘em down the mines!) into fits of hysterical weeping, he is clearly not a happy frog. However, his plight has not gone unobserved. Smokers Die Younger have noticed this sorry state of affairs, and their hearts have bled real blood. So affected were they by his tear-jerking tale of woe that they’ve written a song about it, albeit in a cunning postmodern coded form which only the initiated can decipher.

So weep! as the creaking keyboard and anti-choirboy vocal evoke the sorry state of froggish vocal cords decimated by alcohol fumes and double pneumonia. Rage! at the sad tale of betrayal and resignment encapsulated with heartbreaking efficiency by the strained choral refrain of "It’s always the same". Sigh! as the sparse verse builds into a massive, flickering, tuneful ache of a chorus neatly encapsulating the pain which only a frog can feel. Wonder! if your correspondent has spent too much time lately chewing on the brightly-coloured poisonous frogs found in the Amazonian rainforests - but despite your suspicions: Check out! this bewildering, bizarre, amateurish and extremely endearing slice of minimalist yet strangely effective post-indie pop.