A co-release across some six (that’s six) labels, self-proclaimed Casio-grind trio Trencher’s ‘When Dracula Thinks “Look At Me”’ is the sort of record that’ll give half its listeners cold-sweat and vomit inducing nightmares, and the other sick, sick half the wettest dreams of their lives. It’s wrong, all wrong, yet so, so right. It’s music to watch a mangling by – the soundtrack to some non-existent film about a murderer who gets off by twisting his victim’s body into a pretzel-shaped mess of broken bone and severed flesh. It will, eventually, make you physically sick, like eating as many Mars bars as there are hours in the day in one ten-minute sitting. But you’ll love it, and then lap it all up again as you would your own hot, chocolatey spew.

Unless, of course, you’re one of those close-minded people who won't dip someone else's toe, let alone your own, into the pond of musical experimentation in which Trencher reside. Fine, you stick to your mall rock and corporate emo, but we’ll know where the passion and the fury really is. It’s right here – 14 tracks in 17 minutes. Nothing but gargled screams, fucked-up keys and the maddest drumming this side of Animal if he was infected a la those blood-spitting freaks in '28 Days Later'. Trencher make The Locust sound as lightweight as Counting Crows (but with better hair), and a driverless bulldozer crashing through a bus depot full of passengers as graceful as Mozart. The song titles are as mad as the music itself – 'Illuminated Dead', 'Dead At Work' and 'Hispanic Telepathy Attack' leaping off the cover like flys fleeing a spent corpse. Sound crap to you? Fine, don’t buy it; it’s your decision. Loser.

Me? I’ve just found an excuse to go to bed early at night. Best dig out that plastic undersheet though, and fetch a bucket. I feel a gut-rot coming on.