Firstly, Stereophonics' crooner/growler Kelly it's-not-a-girl's-name-honest Jones has apparently written a screenplay based on a non-fiction book written by a British executioner in the 1950s. Jones has not only adapted Syd Dernley's 'The Hangman's Tale' for screen, he's also handed a copy of his work to Sean Penn. The two met at a gig last month, and Penn is a big fan of the band (which is even more unbelievable than Jones' film-writing antics). Scoff you may, but Jones was enrolled on a script-writing course before the band took off.
Westlife's Bryan McFadden has compared BMG and Pop Idol grinch Simon Cowell to none other than a particularly famous Nazi. "Simon's like, erm, Hitler," said the porky pop star, referring to Cowell's insistence on 'Mandy' being the band's next (current) single, and shortly before his wife Kerry stuffed another cream pie down his gullet.
From Pop Idol to Fame Academy: winner Alex Parks was showered with bras during her show at G.A.Y. at London's Astoria the other day. Pity she doesn't have any use for them.
Not-really-posh trollop Victoria Beckham will give viewers of the revamped Top Of The Pops the chance to pick which of her comeback singles they prefer. Her new label, Telstar, will then push that single the most. Two tracks, 'Let Your Head Go' and 'This Groove' are to be released as a double a-side.
And finally, one third of the greatest all-in-the-family band since The Osmonds has landed himself in hospital. Isaac Hanson (yes, of Hanson) is being treated for a blood clot in his right arm, brought on by playing the guitar too much. Yeah whatever - he's a kid (okay, so he's not, but he was the last time anyone saw him), he stays in hotels, they show porn... I say he mmmbopped himself off a little more vigorously than usual and came a cropper. Ouch.